Me: Arey you failed in one subject!
Mom: How did this happen?
Me: I don’t know. I was instead expecting a backlog of another subject in which I passed.
Mom: You were just sitting with phone on Facebook and WhatsApp.
Me: I cannot sit with the books the whole day. I hate books.
Mom: Ok. Make sure you clear it next time. Else face the consequences.
Me: This time two subjects mom.
Mom: What do you do in the class? I had warned you.
Me: I really don’t know mom.
Mom: What is happening to you? You were not like this before.
Me: I’m sorry. I didn’t do this knowingly. Even I’m hurt. I think my biggest mistake is engineering.
Mom gives lecture for hours.
*understood that mom was very very upset. Tried to lower my visits to FB*
People around began asking me about my results. I had no answer. I couldn’t just go and tell them in all I had backlogs. Started becoming silent and avoided people and visiting public places.
Again a few semesters passed by like this with the tally of 2-4 backlogs. Placement season came and I had a backlog then. I couldn’t attend the interviews. Job gone. There came a bunch of people. “Hi dear. Didn’t get placed? Why? Does your college not get you placed? Which company you attended? Why have you not attended? When will you get placed? I don’t think you’ll get placed now. Try something else. Till date what have you done worth appreciating? Why don’t you get married? There’ll be an ease of burden on your parents.” Oh God!
I don’t really have answers to any of those questions nor to those statements. I have been trying my best on my side for job as well as higher studies. It’s been almost 2 years now and I still don’t know where I’m heading to and what my aim in life is.
I’ve stopped going to most of the functions, stopped talking to people who know me, mostly avoid new ones, created this blog and found lovely beings on Earth, stay inside the room and house for hours and much more.
So a happy and easy going girl who was an extrovert before, loved everything in the world became an introvert.